What To Do With Friends Who Are Adopting

July 29, 2008 at 5:48 pm (International Adoption)

As you may or may not know, we have four children.  The two girls are domestic models, biologically bred, carried by me, delivered to us in a hospital as infants, etc.  The two boys are twin imports, conceived by someone else, prayed for by my husband and I, and delivered to us via international adoption at 7 years of age by God himself.


Now that I am several months into this experience, I have collected thoughts to share on ways to support a newly adoptive family.  Of course, not everyone is the same, there may be needs I haven’t experienced, or things I’ve suggested that are inapplicable.  Either way, I hope this is a nice springboard of ideas for anyone interested.


While the family is away:  Send cards to the house and emails to the family.  Even if the cards are not received until they get home, they will know you were thinking about them.  Later these cards will fill the pages of a ‘baby’ book, encouraging the child and showing him just how many people were anticipating and praying for their arrival home.  Emails are priceless, as they are the only connection the travelling family has with their life back home.  They are in a strange place, surrounded by a strange language, in a strange situation.  They need to hear from you, all of you.


What can you do to help:  Coming home after weeks away, a 12 hour flight with new children, and returning to a dusty house and three feet of grass in the back yard would be very discouraging.  Have a team keep the yard in check and another to blow through the house with cleaning supplies so the family doesn’t come home with even more that needs immediate attention.  Stock the fridge and pantry with some basics to get them through the first 48 hours home.


When the family arrives at the airport:  What do they want?  A large party with signs and cheers?  A silent welcome?  (Some newly adopted children are overwhelmed and may not fare well with a cacophony of excitement.  Would the parents appreciate familiar faces quietly and discreetly waving and encouraging, blending in with the crowd to the eyes of the new children?)  Or would a few friends/family coming to get every one home be a better route?


The first few weeks home:  Stopping by unannounced is a BAD idea.  Even if you are close family or friends, still call first and get some guidelines.  Other than that, NO popping in!  The family is adjusting to being back at home, the children are wired and off schedule, the house is a wreck of suitcases and laundry, and they are all several hours ahead or behind the local time zone.  You may be dressed and ready to visit at 2:00 in the afternoon, but the family will be very likely stumble to the door in their pj’s after having just been jolted awake by your unexpected ring of the doorbell, because they are still on Russia/Guatemala/Wherever time.


But you want to help:  Gather the friends and/or church and arrange for people to sign up to bring meals and/or groceries.  Find out if the children have special needs – they may have food allergies or emotional baggage that relates to certain foods.  If you don’t have any information to go with, keep things simple, chicken noodle soup, rolls, fruit salad, etc.  Easy on the sugar and artificial ingredients!  When it’s your day to deliver dinner, call early in the day to find out when is a good time.


A group wants to pull together for a gift:  No one ever really knows the size of the adoptive children, or whether or not the parents feel they need clothing, toys, etc.  If you shower them with stuff, that’s more the parents have to deal with.  AND – the children don’t need to be seeing a river of toys steadily flowing into the house, AND they will probably come home with things that fit but gain substantial weight and height in the first few weeks home.


Consider organizing a gift card shower.  Cards to stores like Target, Payless Shoes, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, gas cards, cards to the family’s favorite take-out places, etc.  Those cards will provide exactly what the family needs, exactly when they need it. The size and color will always be right, and you don’t have to wrap it!  One of my favorite gifts received (that I never would have thought of) was groceries delivered to my home.  Cards for this are so appreciated by the mother whose new children are overwhelmed with the visual and audio input we easily block out in a grocery store.  And if her new children are flight risks – grocery delivery is even more so appreciated!


The church or a group wants to do something seriously substantial:  The newly adoptive family has just blown through anywhere between $20,000 to $50,000.  Unless one of the parents has great adoption benefits from work (slim chance), or they are extremely wealthy, they are footing this cost themselves and most likely with a loan of some sort.  If you are thinking big, then go big.  Gather funds to help the family put a nice dent or even pay off whatever loan funded the adoption.  Work with a tax advisor to distribute funds in a way that will not cause them to loose tax benefits or having to claim the income.  Even better – arrange this ahead of time, pooling together to sponsor different costs – passports, fingerprinting, home study, travel, lawyer fees, visas, orphanage donation, etc.  Would your church considering tackling this as part of their missions or ministry outreach?


Wanting to see your friends:  Since an impromptu visit is not suggested, try calling and arranging to pick your newly adoptive girlfriend up and treating her for pie and coffee, or chips and a margarita.  Would the new father appreciate a game of racquetball or a pizza and a beer?  Get that outing on the calendar and pick him up!  Two things to remember:  First – if the family has just returned from an international adoption, the family has just blown through thousands of dollars, and they may have lost further income due to time away from work.  Also their budget has been severely disrupted; it will be a few weeks before their finances can be balanced.  Don’t expect them to have discretionary funds available to cover even these simple outings.  Second – the new children could very likely be worried about their new mom or dad leaving and not coming back.  Keep your visit short and have your friend home within two hours or so.


Your children want to meet the new children:  Have them draw pictures for the new children, welcome home signs and the like.  They can make a card and put their own photo on it so the new children can review the names of their new acquaintances.  You could call ahead and arrange a time to stop by to deliver the offerings in person.  Keep it short and simple.  Leave your car running, jump out, deliver, chat for a moment, and head home.  If things are going well for the family, they can invite you to stay.  If not, you know you’ve loved on them without completely disrupting the children.


Your curiosity:  You know it killed the cat, right?  Don’t ask personal questions about the children right in front of them.  Even when they don’t yet speak English, your expressions, the change in tone and key words they may have learned alert them to the fact that you are talking about them.  Save it for when it’s just you and the adult family member or friend.


They are the family you go to in a crisis:  Please consider that their newly adoptive status puts them in ‘crisis’ mode upon arrival home, and ‘high-alert’ for the next several months.  There are language barriers, sleep problems, behavioral issues, poor character traits coming out, feeing and disciplinary battles, not to mention bonding and attachment being pursued 24 hours a day.  Your friends are pouring every ounce of energy they can muster into their family.  There is next to nothing left in reserve, and won’t be for a long time.  They are happy, but still in crisis/high-alert.  This is a good time to find some other means of support for whatever you are struggling with.


They used to be so friendly and hospitable:  They haven’t changed, but they have permanent house guests they need to concentrate on at the moment.  They may not be able to have people over for dinner every week, or even every month for a long time.  It may even be several weeks or months before they can accept an invitation with the new children.  Don’t keep tabs; they’ll have you over when they get a grip on all the crisis issues I talked about above!


Your Two Cents:  Your friends/family are doing some strange things with their newly adopted children.  The 6 year old is in diapers, the 4 year old gets a bottle, the 3 year old doesn’t have to eat her veggies, and why in the world is the 8 year old in a pack ‘n play?  Unless you are asking with the sincerest interest in learning and being supporting with no opinions dying to come out, keep quiet.  The family has most likely read and researched to the nth degree, spoken with all kinds of families that have gone before, sought help of professionals, and really probably have a clue as to what they are doing.  Their children, no matter how cute, seemingly well adjusted, or intelligent, have come home with baggage, and it has to be managed in ways you’re not used to.


General thoughts:  Your friends/family has adopted a child.  This event should be treated no differently than the birth of a baby, regardless of the age of the new child/ren.  What would you do for friends or family who just delivered a baby?  Do the same for the newly adoptive family/children.  These children are blessings, no different than the home-grown kind, and the road the family has travelled to get them was very likely bumpier and more complicated than even a difficult pregnancy.  These children have even more reason to be welcomed and celebrated, and the family needs all the support they can get.


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The Simple Woman’s Daybook

July 21, 2008 at 8:05 am (The Simple Woman's Daybook)

For Today…

Outside my Window . . . another monsoon day.  Even the trees look droopy under the heat and humidity. 

I am thinking . . . if I am going to more wisely redeem the time I have, I’m going to have to practice dying to my self more.  Ouch!

I am thankful for . . . my perfect husband.

From the kitchen . . . nothing that will require firing up the oven, that’s for sure.

I am creating . . . kits for our business, playing in fabric, fun fun fun!

I am going . . . to book club tonight!

I am wearing . . . the new night gown I made from one of our new patterns.  Very cute, even if I do say so myself.

I am reading . . . Tapestry of Grace Year 1, Unit 1, in preparation for ordering books for next year.

I am hoping . . . That Mr. Perfect will build square-foot garden boxes for each of the children.

I am hearing . . . the hum of the heat pump cooling our home.  The children are still in bed, so it’s nice and quiet.

Around the house . . . piles of resources from our home educators convention and books we’re perusing for next year.  Tidying up for the week is next!

One of my favorite things . . . winding down our current academic year while planning/anticipating the next.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week . . . perhaps tea with a friend here at my house today or tomorrow, and book club tonight.  Crazy Wednesday as usual, and other than that, home, home, home!

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you . . . from our recent trip to Seattle.  Isn’t the color amazing?


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100 Random Things About Me

July 16, 2008 at 6:02 pm (Fun)


  1. I’m saved, and
  2. a very conservative member of a CREC church.
  3. I love my church,
  4. and can’t imagine ever being in a segregated church again.
  5. I’m constantly praying for the Lord to show me my blind spots because,
  6. I’m a little dense.
  7. I’m 5.6” and have very long wavy dark brown (most of it) hair.
  8. My husband is perfect.
  9. I have wanted to adopt children for as along as I can remember.
  10. I always wanted a few girls, too.
  11. I have four children on earth, two domestic models, Daisy (‘96) and Rose (’98), and twin imports from Poland, Han Solo and Anakin (’99).
  12. My first daughter was killed in a freak accident in my home.
  13. Yes, it was really awful and continues to be so.
  14. My children are all the most gorgeous blessings on the planet.
  15. I was a Navy brat the first 2 years of my life.
  16. My parents are the best.
  17. My brother and I are extreme opposites.
  18. I adore my brother.
  19. I lived in Pennsylvania for 10 years.
  20. During the 6th grade I had a paper route.
  21. In jr high and high school I learned to play 5 instruments skillfully.
  22. The oboe was my favorite.
  23. I lived in 8 different places during the 3 years I lived in California.
  24. I wouldn’t recommend doing that.
  25. When I was in the work force I could type 114wpm and hold a conversation simultaneously, baffling many an engineer.
  26. I’m glad I’m no longer in the work force.
  27. One of my biggest fears is being lost, mentally or physically.
  28. I’m good with a soldering iron.
  29. I’m also good with spackle and a putty knife.
  30. I hate conflict.
  31. Being a master subject changer, I am very good at avoiding and evading conflict.
  32. I am the black sheep of my family.
  33. Someone once said that I’d be a real force to reckon with when I grew up.
  34. Someone else said that I would always be the best friend that anyone would ever have and yet never know.
  35. Selfishness is a daily battle for me.
  36. I love to research.
  37. I love to read.
  38. I’m building a family library because . . .
  39. I’m a book addict . . .
  40. and I want to leave it for my grandchildren.
  41. I did not enjoy any part of my academic career, so . . .
  42. I really love home educating.
  43. I have very passionate and unwavering thoughts on education . . .
  44. and raising one’s own children.
  45. My friend is trying to get me to appreciate fancy wine.
  46. Two-Buck Chuck is my friend; fancy wines are lost on me.
  47. I was an adult before I learned to listen to my mother,
  48. because I’m a little stubborn.
  49. Sometimes it bothers me that I don’t ‘fit’, but most of the time it works for me.
  50. Once every few months I’ll smoke a clove cigarette.
  51. I’m half way through and can’t believe how hard this is!
  52. I have eaten rattlesnake as an after school snack.
  53. It wasn’t my idea.
  54. My mother made me do it,
  55. because my father made her do it.
  56. I spent 2 weeks in Wroclaw with 4 of us in a 500 sq foot apartment.
  57. Then I spent 3 weeks in Wroclaw with 6 of us in a 500 sq ft apartment,
  58. but I didn’t kill anyone.
  59. Though, I did pray a lot.
  60. I don’t drink enough water.
  61. I can balance a check book, but . . .
  62. if you look over my shoulder or watch me I’ll panic and make a mistake.
  63. I can’t grow plants.
  64. I lived across the street from a house used by the French connection.
  65. I’m not talking about the movie.
  66. I would prefer to converse in ASL than any spoken language.
  67. I know how to swear in Masri Arabic.
  68. No, I won’t share how, nor am I proud of the knowledge.
  69. I love fabric.
  70. On Wednesdays I do 125 – 200 miles worth of driving and errands.
  71. I don’t leave the house the rest of the week.
  72. I almost died after the birth of my last daughter.
  73. I’m glad I didn’t.
  74. I hate to sweat.
  75. I am against feminism.
  76. I started going to school to become a teacher.
  77. I’m really glad I quit.
  78. I love Persian and Indian food.
  79. I have a deep appreciation for proper etiquette.
  80. Bad protocol is a pet peeve.
  81. I’m surrounded by bad protocol.
  82. Empty gas tanks are also a pet peeve.
  83. I broke my foot while trying to evade a man trying to get me into his limo.
  84. My favorite movies are from Jane Austen books.
  85. With a Sig in hand I can hold my own on a firing range.
  86. I love to sew – home dec, clothing, quilts, accessories, everything.
  87. I love paisley – anything.
  88. I am a closet fan of ‘80s/90’s alternative music and can quote more than I care to admit.
  89. I’ve done front office and ring work for local, regional, and national Arabian horse shows.
  90. I was also a wedding planner/coordinator and was very good at it.
  91. I’m also really good in a crisis situation.
  92. I know how to worm a horse,
  93. and a steer.
  94. I’ve slept with baby chicks in my bedroom.
  95. I wouldn’t recommend sleeping with baby chicks in your bedroom.
  96. I’ve been known to pick up a stray cat or dog here and there.
  97. I’m the whitest Mexican I’ve ever known.
  98. Yes, I know how to make tamales.
  99. Dark chocolate is a weakness of mine.
  100. I am comfortable being an enigma.

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Show and Tell!

July 11, 2008 at 7:57 am (Uncategorized)

Do you remember ‘show and tell’ from your school (ew) days?   This is much more fun!
Wanna play?  Just say, “There’s No Place Like Home” and get posting!
A Landslide of Landmark Books . . .
The Landmark Landslide

The Landmark Landslide


In May I received an email from and home-educating e-group to which I’m subscribed.  Various things are shared there, information about events, recommendations, articles, classifieds, etc.


Anyway, this particular installment included a post about a boat load of Landmark/Landmark World books that were being sold.  I responded to it and told the gal I was interested in a price for buying the entire lot.


She responded, gave me the price (pricey, but still a deal for these books), and stated that there was someone ahead of me wanting the whole lot but that if that fell through she’d let me know.


Well . . . it fell through!  (And no, I didn’t pray for that specifically!)


Mr Perfect approved the investment, and my mother selflessly/selfishly (just go with it – she’s an enigma) kicked in a super generous donation for the cause.  The next day more than 100 of these delicious books were home.  AND the lady threw in about 15 books from the Signature series for free!


We are building a family library (you can see 5 of the 8 book cases in the background) in bits and pieces, and this historical collection is a wonderful addition.  The girls have already gobbled up a few, and once the boys are reading I’m sure they will be doing the same.


Books – Bliss!

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Catching Up – July

July 10, 2008 at 5:04 pm (Uncategorized)

Doctoring Part III


Dr R Wonderful is now breaking adjusting my neck twice a week, and occasionally forces me to suffer through some therapeutic massage before treatments.  (Yeah – that’s awful!)  He has given me exercises to do for my neck and back, and has told me to AVOID STRESS.  I tried really hard to not laugh at him to his face, really, I did.  But I was thinking, “I have two sons with baggage that I get to clean out, two hormonal girls, the UPS man stalking my family, tenants who aren’t exactly pillars of responsibility, a washing machine, dishwasher, and water softener – none of which were working (at the time) and we ‘re trying to start a business.  My choices are ‘stress’ or ‘dead’.”


As for the ENT, at least I got a sinus CT out of him.  Once it’s done and the report is in I’m taking in to a different ENT.  Preferably one who will actually look me in the eye and who doesn’t balk when I (gasp) ask questions or agree to investigate less invasive yet more effective measure than he suggests.  Wish me luck.


AZ State Re-Adoption


While the adoption was legally final in Poland, there are benefits that come along with re-adopting here in our state, so that’s what we decided to do.  On July 2nd we had our court date at the juvenile court house in Phoenix.  It was uneventful, everyone involved butchered names of people and places far and wide, and it was all together depressing and anti-climactic.


The time did end nicely, though.  While waiting for some paperwork the boys were called over to a deputy that was watching them.  Off they went and before we knew it we were in a great question and answer session with this man.  He was very patient with the boys, with their observations, both silly and serious, and showed them everything he could share.  (The only disappointment of the boys was that he wouldn’t show them how his tazer worked!)  By the time we were done the boys were Junior Sherriff’s Deputies and walking on cloud nine.  Yes, there are still some very nice people in the world.


The Ranks of the Singularly Vehicled


Mr Perfect found a rather costly snafu in our budget and spent days trying to figure it out.  In the end we decided to cut our losses, put some parameters in place so it wouldn’t happen again, and then figure out how to recuperate the money.  The easiest thing to do that would not require further debt was to sell the car.  Within the same MINUTE that it went up on Craigslist, his cel phone rang.  While it didn’t sell to the first caller, it was sold within a week.  A nice couple is happy with their purchase from our family, and we are back on an even keel.


Things to Which I’m Looking Forward


A sewing date with a friend and her daughters!


Arizona Families for Home Education Convention


Launching the business!


Wow – caught up at last – Whew!  🙂

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Catching Up – June

July 10, 2008 at 4:57 pm (Uncategorized)

10th Anniversary


May 30th was the big day.  To celebrate, Mr Perfect and I went to Seattle for 4 days.  Since our family needs are a little – special – at the moment (big dog, little dog, 2 girls that know enough about managing the house to be dangerous, and 2 boys that barely speak English and have joined our family with their own baggage) the only person I could think of to help was my mother.  I threw the thought out there and wouldn’t you know she agreed!  She drove down from Colorado with time to spend getting to know the new house and the latest and greatest with the boys.  Mr Perfect and I took off and had a lovely time.  I did develop a sinus infection, but Dr Wonderful phoned a prescription up to Seattle for me and I was on the mend with in 18 hours.

I took this photo with Mr Perfect’s big boy camera all by myself.
It was freezing, 50 something degrees, and we loved it!


Coming from the desert where everything is brown or brown, the colors we saw were intoxicating.

Flowers and Bees

Flowers and Bees

We watched fish mongers fling fish here . . .
Pike's Fish Market

Pike's Fish Market

Some dear friends treated us to coffee at the original Starbucks with a gift card!  (I have tried and tried, but I don’t know why this is formatting so weird – sorry!)
The Original Starbucks

The Original Starbucks

During a cruise the guide pointed out several things, including this home that was used in Sleepless in Seattle.  Cute!
Sleepless in Seattle

Sleepless in Seattle


Home Study Update

 Since the boys have been home for 6+ months and we were getting ready to re-adopt them here in the state, it was time for a post-placement home study.  The case worker showed up the day after we returned from Seattle, asked a few questions, and sat amazed at our well behaved, adjusting little boys.  30 minutes later he was out the door.  Yeah, love those short visits!


Doctoring Part I


As it turned out, the stuff that Dr A. Wonderful phoned to Seattle for me didn’t pack enough punch, so he put me on something stronger.  Within a few days I was having all sorts of intestinal fun, was very dizzy, and basically felt like – well – you know!  He said I could stop taking the antibiotic and to give it a few days for the side effects to get out of my system.  Whew!


Daisies and Dogs


Every few years Daisy’s dad’s family takes a house boat up to Lake Powell, and this was the year.  While she was off having a lovely time, we got to take care of their dog, a beautiful German shepherd, who fit right into our family.  On the last day of her visit, some friends of ours took a trip to San Francisco, leaving us with their big black lab and a lab mix.  They are also well behaved and fun to have around, but I must admit that now that they are all back home, it’s delightfully less . . . hairy around here.


Doctoring Part II


After waking up in the middle of the night crying for Mr Perfect to dig up some pain-killers, I went in to see Dr A Wonderful to ask him to figure out what was wrong with my neck.  I was also still dizzy/heady and told him I still was not convinced that the sinus infection was completely gone.  He turned me over to his chiropractor brother, Dr R Wonderful, and told me to find an ENT to attack the elusive sinus issues.


Up Next – July!

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Catching Up – May

July 10, 2008 at 4:23 pm (This and That)

Book Club


Shortly after moving north of the valley a dear lady invited me to join a small book club in which she participates.  I did so happily and we’ve been reading and discussing 12 Steps to Becoming a More Organized Woman ever since.  While it’s not terribly meaty and occasionally forces me to wonder if the author lives on the same planet I do, it does lead me to ask, “How can this apply to my life?” or “I don’t agree, but what can I learn in spite of this difference of opinion?”  It is a lovely group of ladies and we always have a nice evening, lively discussion, and things to apply to our lives.


Alex Anniversary/Mother’s Day


Since Alex was killed on May 10th, these dates run hand in hand with each other.  Sometimes the season’s difficulties come early, sometimes late.  However it plays out, I can always count on the fact that it will be annoyingly unpredictable and I will be well under Satan’s attack.  Severe neck pain, irregular and pounding heart beat, shortness of breath, dizziness, and crushing pain in the chest are the more manageable physical symptoms, unlike all the mental fun there is to be had.  Inability to keep track of linear time, lack of logical and methodical thinking, inability to follow simple directions (like a recipe), losing track of where I am logistically and the panic that follows being lost and now out of control, the miss-management of simple details – like stopping because I’ve seen a red car instead of a red traffic light.  This comes more than goes, for the majority of the month, and brings with it many serious fears that have to be dealt with (sometimes more successfully than others).  For whatever reason, this year was extremely difficult, and I have a new found appreciation for how precariously close I live to going off the deep end.


Studio Recital


In the middle of May the girls performed in their annual studio recital.  Daisy’s new viola arrived in time for her to adjust (it took her about 10 minutes) and it sounded wonderful at its public debut.  The girls played beautifully, and most of the students seemed happy with their performances.




A forum friend of mine went to Poland with her family to meet their new daughter, about 2 years old, and blind from complications of pre-mature birth.  At the first court date the prosecutor (who had never done an adoption case before, and knows nothing about home education) stated concerns because this special needs child was being placed with this family who already had several children, and who home educated.  She said that she doubted that they would be able to attend to the child’s needs.  The judge allowed the bonding to begin and later asked the prosecutor to sign a paper stating that she would not appeal the decision.  Later the prosecutor refused to sign and started the appeal process.  The family came home defeated, and the baby remained orphaned.


I have witnessed something similar to this here in the states – people who don’t have a clue believing lies and destroying families.  It never ceases to amaze me, and reminds me that none of us are completely safe from ‘the system’.


Hang in there – the June update is not so depressing!

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The Simple Woman’s Daybook

July 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm (The Simple Woman's Daybook)

It has been a rediculously busy, medically annoying, stressful few months around here.  I’m in the process of getting a ‘catch up’ post written and some new photos gathered for you.  In the mean time, however, I have stumbled upon The Simple Woman’s Daybook.  While it is supposed to be thought through and posted on Mondays, I thought I’d give it a go to help me jump back into regular posting.



Fun, fun, fun!

Original Home of The Simple Woman\



Outside my Window… a breeze blows through the heap of metal that used to frame a canopy before our first microburst ripped it to shreds and shrapnel.


I am thinking… I’m so pleased to hear the boys playing behind me, chattering away in Polish with more and more English creeping into their vocabularies.

I am thankful for… the travel that Mr Perfect was expecting for work being cancelled.

From the kitchen… chicken stock that Daisy started, simmering away and smelling wonderful.

I am creating… a new nightgown from a new pattern we just got in.  Very cute!

I am going… tomorrow for a sinus CT, to deliver Mr Perfect to work, Sprouts, the library, music lessons, my grandmothers’, back to pick up Mr Perfect from work, home, and then bible study.  Another crazy, 200 mile – Wednesday!

I am wearing… my favorite ripped up denim skirt and a grape-wine colored t-shirt.  Hair is straightened and up in a clip.  I will, however, get cleaned up a bit before Mr Perfect gets home.  😉

I am reading… Pride and Prejudice under doctor’s orders.  (He said to do something relaxing every day!)

I am hoping… to be steadfast in my latest attempt at consistent exercise.

I am hearing… the children all singing/humming the “Happy Working Song” from Enchanted.

Around the house… it feels like something is missing – and will remain so until Mr Perfect gets home later tonight.

One of my favorite things… whipping up cuteness in Chaos!

A few plans for the rest of the week… continue our routines, enjoy my family, and get ready for sewing with a lovely group of young ladies on Monday!

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you… Hmm . . . I’ll have to learn how to move photos onto the computer so I can do this like a big girl!

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